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Saturday, February 14, 2015

List of February Loves

Since today is Valentine's Day, I thought I would share some things I am loving this month.

Album:  Switchfoot's Fading West

This album is quickly becoming one of my favorite albums of all time.  Switchfoot, if you couldn't tell, is one of my favorite bands of all time.  Their lyrics hit me right in my heart. One song in particular brought such clarity to my thinking about life.  It's called, "The World You Want".  If you click the song title, it will take you to the official audio from their Youtube channel.  While I could listen to their whole album on the Youtube platform for free, I decided to buy the album.

Fading West

Netflix:  Switchfoot: Fading West Film

Yes, I am on a Switchfoot kick.  Their film on Netflix is awesome.  They decided to go on tour, surf, and record an album, all while documenting their journey.  You get to witness their heart and soul, reaching the world with their message of love and music.  One line which stuck with me, "If you're leaving your family behind, you better believe in what you are singing."

And I believe them.

It reminds me of a poem I wrote a few years ago, "When you sing, I believe it."

Food:

Cottage Cheese

Yes, I have found a new favorite food to snack on at work.  The cottage cheese I buy comes in a one serving container and has 20 grams of protein.  It keeps me full and away from junk food, while at work anyways.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

"Grotesque Imagery" by Sak

Grotesque imagery
No, you don't flatter me
There are consequences to your rashness
Never before have I thought you weak, but I see that you are...
Needing everlasting accolades
Recognition of not just peers, but everyone
They are your only source of fulfillment
You'll never confess
You're strong
Yes, I see that 'S' on your chest, but for me it stands for shallow, spineless, shameless
You think you save fair maidens, but you leave them all old maids

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Phase One by Sak

Sometimes I want to lock myself up
Protect others from my irrationality
My jealous nature taking over from time to time
In moments of weakness, crying out to anyone with the time of day
Afraid of my influences, the culture gets to me, seeps from my veins

Away, away to beyond that starry shore
Take me away from this place of no return
Crying for shame
Am I not in control?
Angry at how I let myself go...

Disappointed in my selfish gaze
If I bared my soul, would it be like bearing my breast?
Would I shrink back in shame?
Would you shudder in detest?

Wretched, wretched lie, come bid me now...
Forever inflamed in a passionate embrace

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

January Goals Update

Do you know what stinks?  Having the flu.  It went straight to my lungs.  It felt like I was drowning. The cough is still lingering, all other symptoms are gone.

The first two weeks of January I feel like I did great with going to the gym and working out. The last two weeks were rough.  Being sick and working out do not go together.

I finished reading Checkout Girl and Slaughterhouse Five, or The Children's Crusade.  I decided to come up with a ranking system for the books I read.  No star ratings, no 1 out of 10.  I want to put a unique twist to it.  This will be a mini goal for next month.

I did not finish What Maisie Knew.  The book was too depressing.  If the book was shorter, I might have been able to push myself through it.  It is about a young girl experiencing her parents' divorce and subsequent relationships.  Her parents use her to attack each other. I am interested in watching the movie version, starring Julianne Moore and Alexander Skarsgard.

The book I chose to replace What Maisie Knew is...

Ellen Foster

When I was younger, ABC used to play a Hallmark movie on Sunday nights.  One of the movies was Ellen Foster.  It made a large impression on me. When I found Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons in my library's used book sale, I had to buy it.  It is about a young girl growing up in the rural South during what is probably the 1970s.  No date in particular is mentioned, but it seems to take place before the technological boom of the 1980s.  Ellen Foster grows up with a sick mother and an abusive father. When her mom dies, she has to fend for herself and grow up fast. Eventually, she is taken from her father's care and shuffles between multiple relatives.  Ellen Foster narrates her story from the safety of her "new mama's" home.  The story is touching.

I did not complete Dune last month, but I plan on finishing it.  The book is deep and intense.  I want to take the time to think about it, not rush through it.  The edition I own has the first three books and appendixes.

This past week, I have been reading through old journals and notebooks.  It is hilarious reading through the dramatic teenage years.  It makes me happy my life is a lot more even since writing those tumultuous thoughts and emotions.  One time in a crowd of people, a few girls were discussing a boy they found attractive.  One of the girls loudly inquired, "Yeah Sarah, does anyone else like ___?"  I was embarrassed and probably blushed, but I ignored her.  Looking back on the situation, she is the one who should have felt embarrassed.  I am glad I did not react, because reactions only add fuel to the fire. But of course, my journal heard all about it later.  This is why it is therapeutic to privately journal.  You can voice anger, hurt, frustration, embarrassment, without feeling judged. Later you can look back and have a different perspective.

Organization was not accomplished this month.  This will transfer over to next month's goals.

My cornet has not been played nearly enough this month.  I did not want to play when I was sick.  I know it is an excuse, but it's a good one, right?  Sometimes, I wish I could use emojis in my blog posts.

The idea of monthly goal setting came from Kelli from the blog shelearnsshegoes.com
Please visit her site and send her love.

This Friday, I will post my February Goals.

How was your January?  Did you begin or complete any projects?

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Titles Have Always Escaped Me

Temporary aphasia
At the aphelion-such a far distance
Our platonic relationship was pure rhapsody
Such a travesty
I still find it fascinating,
Still palatable,
Even after much introspection
You provide a paradox
Pardon my candor
Recusation by you felt cacophonous
Brought about seething anguish
Parasitic thoughts create my emotional mange
I felt revenge
Wasn't it conspicuous?
My rage has since left
Feeling self-actualized
My manuscript now self written.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Work in Progress

No, I did not forget about my resolution to post on Fridays.  I was hoping to be a bit more ahead of the game this second week of the first month of the year.

So far, I have started reading three of the four books for the month.  Only one book has managed to keep my interest.  I will delve more deeply into each book when I have finished all of them.

I have developed a plan for my spiritual goal to practice giving.  I will donate clothes to a local drive and shoes to a homeless shelter.

Tonight I was watching Law and Order: SVU on hulu.com  The latest episode (Season 16. Episode 11), begins with a cover by TantrumJas of "Let Her Go" by Passenger. Passenger is one of my favorite bands, introduced to me by Pandora.  The song is beautiful and I recommend listening to the cover by clicking this highlighted link.  Please also, check out the band.  They have a lovely indie rock/folk sound with thought provoking lyrics.

A show I just started watching on Netflix is The Blacklist.  It is intriguing, if not a little predictable at times.

My laptop broke with all of my stock pictures and photography library.  In the next month or so, I would like to remedy the situation, so my blog can have an added personal touch.

Thank you for reading my little update.  How is your month, so far?

Friday, January 9, 2015

2015

New Year Goals

"Tell me old friend
How long has it been
Since we sat together alone

with pencil in hand
I write of lavender
and chocolates
and him..."

Immediately, this poem I wrote in high school came to my mind when I thought to write again.  Last year was rough, not only for me, but a whole lot of us.  Collectively, I feel we are looking to 2015 to be a better year.  2015 don't disappoint us!

This year, I would like to work on feeling better about my health.  As a young child, I always knew I was bigger than all my friends.  I was proud of the fact that I was taller than kids my age.  It wasn't until I was ten years old that someone called me (through the grapevine) fat. Hearing those words from my best friend's mouth stung.  Fast forward to being an emotional teenager, the Doctor tells me, at fifteen, to stop eating so much.  At this time, all my friends are thinner than me.  I felt horrible. This began a dieting trend, at one point, I was eating less than 1000 calories a day (half the required nutrition your body needs) and my hair started falling out.  But the compliments!  Every one said how great I looked, how thin I was...and I still wasn't completely satisfied.  Once my mom found out and my hair started falling out, I stopped the madness. I gained all the weight back in one month. I still have the stretchmarks.  Our society praises the thin and shames the "fat".  While I still secretly crave being thin, I want to be a healthy contributing member of society first and foremost.  I am done with body shaming and on to body celebration.

My first goal for the year is to exercise six days per week, not merely for weight loss, but to feel great. Belonging to a gym is helping me achieve this goal.  The elliptical machine is my favorite, because there is less impact on my joints, allowing me to sweat and actually feel the burn of my muscles.  My closest run speed was eight minutes and fifty-six seconds, inching closer to the goal of an eight minute mile.

MyFitnessPal is an app I am using on my phone to help me keep track of my nutrition intake and exercises.  This app will tell you if you need to consume more calories.  I find this refreshing, as opposed to saying "Great job!  You ate less today!"  The app says, "Based on your total calories consumed for today, you are likely not eating enough."  It goes on to describe healthy weight loss and the importance of adequate nutrition.  Right now, I have the app set to a half a pound per week weight loss regiment.

My second goal for the year is to play my cornet.  While I doubt I will ever get to the point of being able to play in a band (or in front of an audience at all), I want to play for myself.  Maybe at the end of the year, I will play and post a Youtube video of me playing a song.

My third goal for the year is to complete my 52 Book Challenge on Goodreads.  You can check up on my progress clicking this link.

This month I am focusing on reading:

Dune by Frank Herbert

What Maisie Knew (Penguin Classics)


Checkout Girl: A Life Behind the Register

My fourth and final goal for the year is to blog at least once per week.  Friday is my day of choice. You can expect at least one post every Friday on this blog.

Once a month, I will be posting progress on my yearly goals, as well as setting mini monthly goals using my four quadrants.

Four Quadrants: Mental, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual

Mentally, I am going to organize two rooms in our house, the bedroom and the game room.

"A place for everything, and everything in its place." - Benjamin Franklin

"Tidy room, tidy mind."

Spiritually, this month, I would like to focus on giving.

"Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver." - II Corinthians 9:7

Emotionally, I would like to privately journal, penning thoughts and emotions, in a safe space.

Physically, I am going to stick with exercising six days per week.

The idea of monthly goal setting came from Kelli from the blog shelearnsshegoes.com  Please visit her site and send her love.

Wow, this blog post is a long one.  Thank you for taking the time to read my 2015 Goals and please, tell me your plans for this new year.
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